Thursday, Feb. 23, 2006 - 6:03 p.m.

Dear Courting Boys,

If perchance your birthday falls within the first three months of the beginnings of establishing relations please lie about the anniversary of your birth. We will thank you for this later.

Take it from me, the sentence Want to come out for my birthday on Friday, with me and a scarily large number of my friends? spoken nary three weeks along the courting path does not make a heart overflow with warmth, but does make an oesophagus feel like it may overflow with lunch.

How does one buy a gift for Three Week Boy? Striking a not-too-personal not-too-distant present balance is an art. Book � not sappy, no hidden themes check; CD � inflicting my taste on the world, not sappy, no hidden themes check; Kill Bill Action Figure¹ � potential for mixed message to be given by the fact I did venture into Forbidden Planet to obtain, but there it is and I ain�t keeping it.

Also, Flatmate A and B have gone to Kiev for the weekend (as you do), so there won�t be anyone to tell me to get back to my room and get changed young lady. Oh, the stress.

Thank you,
Atavist.

¹ He joked about wanting one �kay? It�s ironic. Shut up.

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