Friday, Aug. 05, 2005 - 11:03 a.m.

My Mum died five years ago today. My Dad died four weeks ago today, and twenty-four days ago was the ninth anniversary of my big brother�s death. So I�ll light a candle for my Mum today, and probably have a bit of a cry (and knowing me of late this will be somewhere inconvenient, like whilst on the tube).

I�m relieved the anniversaries are over with for another year, but slightly afraid of gaining distance from my Dad. Oh, I�ve been here before and I know the first day when I don�t cry is a whole different kind of awful to the just plain being sad.

In some way having parents has been a kind of buffer zone to the real world � I was still someone�s child, still my Dad�s little girl. Now I�m nobody�s child. Time to be a grown up.

back - fore