Tuesday, Apr. 18, 2006 - 5:43 p.m.

A denial, a whinge, reassessment.


I�m soon to pass through another birthday This is a technical issue only, as I decided to stop having birthdays a couple of years ago. I don�t like the fuss and I am horrified by how big the numbers are starting to get compared to how old I am in my head. Of course, refusing to acknowledge one's birthday is the first sign of approaching middle age.

So, my point was, I seem to be doing a lot of Growed Up stuff at the moment, having Growed Up conversations and making Growed Up decisions and generally getting on with it all. Courting, flat buying, staring covetously at white goods. Except that really I just want it all to stop. or, really, someone else to do it all and just check in when I need to sign something.

But even that�s not true. I just don�t like the accompanying anxiety much. It makes it difficult for me to move about this life stuff gracefully. It takes all the energy I�ve got to rise above it.

And then the sneaking suspicion that unless I am very careful, nay! vigilant, I will turn into Emily Grimes.

I�m sure I was cheerier this morning.

I did have a very lovely long weekend, truly. Spaceboy, V&A for Modernism, weird little pub in east London with jazz played by the over 65s, Japanese food, newspaper lounging, marmalade toast, chocolate bunny giving, The Proposition at the Curzon, noodles, late lazy mornings.

back - fore


Stuff what is good and makes me happy: - Saturday, Dec. 20, 2008
Not really an update. - Monday, Jan. 22, 2007
Don't know when I'll be back again. - Sunday, Dec. 10, 2006
- - Tuesday, Nov. 21, 2006
The drugs don't work. - Monday, Oct. 23, 2006


details
voyeurism
self-indulgence for all





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