Monday, Jul. 17, 2006 - 9:26 a.m.

Why is this living business never simple? The brand new washing machine blew up and my insurer cancelled my buildings insurance on Friday because I have a bit of a problem with the drains that I need to address.

I didn�t spend much time with Spaceboy over the weekend, which I had engineered last weekend because he was driving me nuts and I wanted some room to breathe. I�m not sure if the sensation of missing him that I felt was actually missing him or just a change of habit. Of course, now that he doesn�t have time to see me until next weekend I feel a bit of an ache.

He�s lovely, we have fun, he�s kind and sweet and treats me respectfully. And whilst he�s many wonderful things, there�s no edge to what I feel for him. I�m not sure if that�s immaturity on my part � am I simply not content with nice? How many great passions can one have a right to expect? (and I have had a couple over the years).

He�s a million years away from making a commitment, and although I remain ambivalent about having children, as the time starts to run out I think I want the option to be available. It won�t be the end of the world if it never transpires, but I don�t have five years to faff about, and I don�t want that option to flitter away waiting for a man to decide if he�s ready to commit.

Is that harsh? Am I asking too much?

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