Thursday, Aug. 17, 2006 - 9:37 p.m.

Missing is the perfect word. I am missing someone. He is not here, I�m not sure he ever was here. This person I miss is missing. Lost in time and space.

I miss the sounds that weren�t words and the skin that made me ache and the newness of it all.

I ask for divine intervention to take this away. Please, please, please. But I let my guard down and it returns. I let my guard down and play his songs. I let my guard down and accidentally look at pictures. I let my guard down and read his books. And I remember what an arse I was.

Please, please, please.

But that never works, because there�s that grain of sand that worries my prayers and you don�t get something unless you�re really truly willing.

Someday it'll sink in that this is all ancient history.

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